Judgement Day is Done and Gone (And The First Time I Said “Fuck You” To A Complete Stranger)

FUCK YES. Exams. Are. Over. There are no other three words that could be any more satisfying. Wait, let’s stop. No more talk of assessments, school and the impending doom of receiving my final grades. Instead, the culmination of sweet long-awaited freedom should be celebrated with a throwback to an achievement of mine.

Here is the story of the first time I said “fuck you” to a stranger. Now, I come from a place where swearing is frown upon (no shit) and especially so when you are a teenage girl from a pretty respectable institution. Don’t get me wrong, I am not some kind of Asian puritan who strictly  abstains from swearing to reading mildly-erotic manga (smut is my bread and butter oh no I can feel you judging me), but I do most of my “fuck” this and that at home and in the company of my hooligan friends (yeah we totes cool yo). So throwing a huge “fuck you” to a complete stranger was a big accomplishment for me. Wayyy too big. But hey.

Ok, now to the story. I was walking my dog with my mother and we were exiting our housing estate when this shitty lump of a middle-aged man came waddling toward us. Our dog, which rarely gets uncontrollably frenzied at humans, gets uncontrollably frenzied at that douche. My pooch could barely reach the oaf and he starts hurling insults at us. And before that idiot gets away with ruining our pleasant mother-daughter-dog stroll, I gave him a terrific “FUCK YOU”. It was, honestly, the best feeling in the world. My heart was racing, my head was whirling, but most importantly, my cherry has popped.

I am no longer a profanity virgin.

Ok this post just got a bajillion times weird. Excuse me for my poor choice of words, but I think it depicts my feelings very accurately, which is also not very assuring of my sanity.

Anyhoo, after the f-bomb was dropped, all that came out of the jerk’s mouth was a feeble I-don’t-want-the-police-to-be-involved-because-I-did-some-scandalous-things-prior-to-offending-a-feisty-teenage-girl response, and then he shuffled away quickly like the shady-ass-dick he was. That’s right.

My mom still managed to grasp onto some parenting basics and told me off a little for swearing at that idiot, but I could tell she was glad as hell that I rebutted his unnecessary discourtesy. Hohoho.

That moment was special, though. In all seriousness (who am I kidding), it helped me get a taste of standing up for myself, no matter how petty the incident was (I am literally just bullcrapping at this point).

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TL;DR: Cussed at a stranger and it felt like opening a fresh jar of glorious nutella (oh, the sweet, gooey world of spewing expletives at other human beans)