Return of the Lazy Author

I’m… back. That’s it. I just felt like posting on this blog again so there. Oh dear, I just checked my clock and it’s 2017 already. Fuck me.

Here are some life updates:

1. One year closer to death. A.K.A. A-Levels.
2. Somehow, I managed to croak my way to being a singer in my school’s Jazz Club.
3. Finally, I became a conservation ambassador for the zoo, and to be honest, I volunteer there to impress foreign strangers for a self-esteem boost.
4. Get Out is a really, really good horror film. Must watch.
5. Just completed my very first junior college exams. Can’t wait to get the remedial classes’ schedule.
6. Recently got hooked on The Sound of Your Heart, a Korean comedy webcomic. It never fails to make me audibly laugh in public (Oh the horror of attracting attention). I may try making comics again some time soon.
7. To satiate my need for recklessness and (injudicious) adventure, I literally found a restaurant looking to hire on a Singaporean equivalent of Craigslist, WhatsApp-ed the employer a lengthy request to recruit me as a “kitchen apprentice”. Apparently, my good command of the English language and clever inclusion of “no pay needed” within my job application landed me my very first culinary gig. In fact, very first career position.

Me, screaming internally:

I want to go to culinary school. The Culinary Institute of America. 

I will show ’em. I will hone my knife skills, read Kitchen Confidential without getting intimidated, and do my homework to Gordon Ramsay swearing on loop. I will experiment in the falling-apart kitchen and memorise every cut of a cow, pig, sheep, horse, dog, cat, whatever.

Now that I have written this here, I will do it.

The Struggling Sim

So yeah it’s the exam period and here I am, compiling notes on the wondrous male gonads and fascinating Fallopian tubes on my over-sized Samsung desktop computer with The Sims 3 open on my precious Dell laptop, precariously perched at the edge of my cluttered desk. Oh such diligence and maturity! I am practically the quintessential candidate for scholarship providers all over the country! Ivy League, here I come!

As I was saying before the elusive rational part of my brain so rudely interrupted, I’ve recently been hooked on The Sims 3 again, and no good shall come out of it. Hours were spent and revision papers were shunned in the process of creating a virtual life.

All reality aside, I’m pissed off with EA. Either the developers were too obtuse to think of convenient gameplay, or the fact that the Sims 3 was released when I still owned a flip-phone, or I’m just a moron. Ok, in what world does a person, fry up some pancakes, sets in on the counter, and yells to the ceiling that she was hungry with a goddamn plate of food literally under her nose?? No, Sim. No “da-das” and pointing to your faceholes. Fuck, what are you, an insentient display of pixels running on code?

…

I crave pancakes now.

Oh hey I once drew this bear with a stack of pancakes. 

I was also pretty high on last-minute homework that night. Explains the crude graffiti. On another note, Fire Alpaca is a really great and free digital art software! An exemplar of its wide range of capabilities would be the marvelous masterpiece right on the left! What a time to be alive. angstangstangstbangskeyboardohnoits2amfuck

 

 

 

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TL;DR : Sold my soul to The Sims 3, ruined my future, and am excelling in artistic portrayals of flapjackvorous bears